How to Pitch a Movie or PR Spam to My Inbox

My inbox runneth over. I am the daily recipient of so much email that pure mathematics cannot adequately describe it with numbers. In the time it takes you say ?googolplex,? my email would have already quintupled. What?s amazing is that not all of it is spam, at least in the traditional sense (male enhancement pills and the financial insolvency of the Nigerian ruling class).

Most the missives I received this week are pitches, either from publicists on behalf of their clients or misguided screenwriters who mistakenly take my pose as a media mogul more seriously than I. My inbox sees more pitching than a tent city. I get so many pitches, Major League Baseball should sell tickets. My inbox wears a T-shirt that reads, ?Life?s a pitch and then you die.?