I occasionally use Help A Reporter Out when looking for leads, experts for interviews or, as often, to gin up some press for a pal or a project. It is one of the bright spots the Digital Age has wrought upon the media, though it can also remind me where it’s all gone wrong. Like when this happens: “Do you eat glass?” and “Do you eat dog or cat food? National talk show is currently seeking people who eat dog or cat food! We want to hear from you as soon as possible!”
These HARO requests came courtesy of Amanda R. for an unnamed national talk show. Some triangulation between IMDBpro and LinkedIn, however, indicates that she’s an associate producer on the Dr. Oz Show. Yes, Oz the great and powerful. It got me thinking (if I only had a brain) that if corporate prankster activists the Yes Men can get themselves booked for bogus interviews, perhaps I could do the same. I responded:
Hey, Amanda –
I eat glass. It started as a party trick involving wine glasses – now it’s just kind of a thing. Love to chat! Cheers, DH
I figured I could leverage my wine country provenance (having written the book) as a wine glass fetishist gone gustatory. Moreover, I found an extremely thorough YouTube video courtesy of MakeYourOwnMolds.com that explains how to make an edible prop wine glass from sugar, like those one might see in a movie. The video is a 17 minute time-suck that’s difficult to quit (and there’s apparently an hour-long version as well).
I fully expect that if I were booked, Amanda, Dr. Oz and the American public would demand an on-air demonstration of my glass eating talents. After all, the fuel of daytime television is human degradation. Moreover, I’d rather eat “glass” than dog/cat food was too or any of the non-edibles I found in other queries: Do you eat rocks? Do you drink gasoline? Do you snort or eat baby powder? These were a little too lethal for my refined tastes.
I was curious – is it even possible to eat glass and not shit blood for the rest of one’s presumably shortened life? I posted the the question on Quora. But phrased differently: