Political (pseudo) Science

Nice vice: As is known throughout this fine burg, councilman Ken Brown (or “Brawn” as we say on KSVY 91.3 Sonoma), nominated himself for vice mayor and was appointed as such with a landslide three-out-of-five-vote victory over Steve Barbose (that’s a whopping 60 percent, people – precisely what I earned on my last math final). If you missed the historic meeting at council chambers and later missed its rebroadcast on SVTV27, you can visit SonomaSun.com and see it as a Sonoma Moment online. FilmArt3 alum Raymond Daigle has trimmed the footage to a tidy four minutes so you won’t have to sludge through four hours of agenda items to witness Brown’s marvel of real-time politicking. Sun news editor Bonnie Durrance obtained this quote from the new Vice Mayor (or The Mayor of Vice as I’ve heard it): “I was mayor in 2001 and I have not yet had the opportunity to be Vice Mayor. I’m looking forward to the challenge. If you can’t stand up for yourself, how can you expect anyone to stand up for you?” Given the city of Santa Rosa’s recent decision to impeach Vice-type Dick Cheney, Brown is prudently avoiding that town. “I plan on staying out of Santa Rosa so I don’t get impeached.” Ah, Kenny Brawn, always quick with a quip. Someday perhaps I’ll say “I knew him when” instead of “I knew him – who?” Congrats, pal.Politicos on the rampage: In unrelated political machinations, our in-house Lead-Guitarist and Director of Technology J.M. Berry (his official title) retains his station as the putative Mayor of El Verano, though his demure manner causes him to blush at the mere mention of this esteemed office – especially when receiving rounds at the Swiss, where his cheeks are often flushed with mayoral joy. Likewise, Donna Piranha (not to be confused with the Sun’s own Diva Donna) retains her office as Mayor of the Springs, which inspired some chump at a recent cocktail party to ask why I hadn’t run myself. “Conflict of interest,” I explained. “I’m the Minister of Propaganda for Nomaville.” I thought that was humorous. He didn’t get it.

“Where’s that?”

“It’s a state of mind, man,” I elaborated. He stared at me, quizzically, then spat:

“Why do you have to be such a punk, dude?”

“Actually, it’s pronounced Daedalus.”

He paused and gave me a once-over.

“You’re Daedalus? Sorry, man. I thought you were J.M. Berry.”

Yep. I definitely need a haircut.

Overheard: While shopping for stocking-stuffers at Artefact last week (the Contessa suddenly has a yen for iridescent eggs), your eavesdropping reporter learned that there’s a ringer in the 300-strong plastic snowman light-brigade patrolling the Cornerstone Place on Hwy. 121. Look for the red one. Then tomorrow, look for him again. Apparently, he’ll be moving throughout the glowing regiment, day after day – a lone crimson bulb in his belly and the spirit of individuality flickering in his molded-plastic heart.

Sonoma 2.0: Since I’ve appointed myself the independent brand watchdog for the city, county and concept of “Sonoma,” I’ve been tracking various indicators of Sonoma’s reach in the marketplace, among them, internet domain registrations. Consider this eight-letter, two-word call-to-action, squatted since December, 2001. Drum roll, please… GoSonoma.com. Currently, the site is an auto-generated travel-themed splash page, but is otherwise underdeveloped. Interestingly, the name was registered in Pompano Beach, Fla., but apparently has no relationship to, dig this, Sonoma Bay, “a townhouse community” also located in the Sunshine State. I’ve scoured Google Earth for the development’s aquatic namesake, but, alas, the tides of Sonoma Bay ebb and flow in the realm of the imaginary and real estate.