Do You Really Need a Ransom Note Generator?

So, you’ve taken your cyber-bullying to the nth level and finally kidnapped your victim and now you need to shake some people down for their ransom. But you don’t want a forensics lab tracing your handwriting back to you, moreover your more comfortable in the digital milieu, which is why you’re a cyber-bully and not a regular bully. What you need is an online “ransom note generator.”

But, wait, hold up a minute. This is the perfect juncture to reevaluate some of your life choices. Even if this endeavor comes with the disclaimer “For entertainment purposes only” don’t you think maybe it’s just a step (or half-marathon) too far? The fact that you’ve landed on this page and are reading this now is Fate trying to tell you, “Hey, maybe this isn’t as funny as you think it is.”

Each year thousands of people are kidnapped — most of whom are children who are subsequently trafficked and/or killed, and never seen again by their heartbroken families. And, yes, some victims are even ransomed — are you really the kind of person who would use an instrument of terror for a lark? You’re better than that. And besides, your IP address is probably being scraped from this site by the FBI right now, so why risk it?

Ransom Note Generator vs. Scissor and Paste

This Ransom Note Generator is Bollocks.

But hey, maybe you’re just trying to recreate the Sex Pistols logo for your tribute band or you’re dallying with some Dada collage-making and ye olde Zapf Dingbats font isn’t cutting it. If that’s the case, I suggest keeping it old school by breaking out the scissors and paste. It will help ground you IRL since clearly, you’ve had too much screen time today.

Any thoughts?

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