September, 29

Tears of a Clone

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George Lucas, the Dark Lord of Marin County, says that when he concludes the utter destruction of his once exemplary legacy with the final installment of the Star Wars prequels, he intends to make “more personal” films. Sure not to conflate “personal” with original (i.e., Hidden Fortress, Lensmen), Lucas says, “I’m going to make a bunch of movies like THX,” referring to his 1971 knock-off of Orwell’s 1984. “If people don’t like it, too bad,” he said, biting the thousands of pre-adolescent hands that have fed his multi-million dollar empire. “I’m going to go from complete success to complete failure,” he adds, blissfully unaware that a $100 million grossing piece of shit is still a piece of shit.

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