Remains of Titanic Iceberg Defend Innocence

Nearly nine years after centenary observances of the RMS Titanic and its tragic sinking on April 15, 1912, a former iceberg has come forward to defend itself against allegations that it caused the fateful collision.
At a press conference in Newfoundland, four hundred miles north of the site of the mid-Atlantic disaster that became a watery grave for over 1500 voyagers, the iceberg, now a fraction of its once gargantuan size, expressed remorse for the loss of life but maintained that the accident was not its fault.

“Not to put too fine a point on it –– but the boat hit me,” emphasized the iceberg. It added that since the accident it has suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder and the diminishing effects of climate change.

The iceberg has spent much of the past century since the maritime disaster “just drifting” but expressed hope in finding work in a punch bowl or an ice chest and believes coming forward will help his cause.

“I still have a lot left to give,” he said. “There’s a lot of me you can’t see.”

By Daedalus Howell

Daedalus Howell is the writer-director of Pill Head and the upcoming Wolf Story, and author of the novels Quantum Deadline and the Late Projectionist, and the editor of the Bohemian and Pacific Sun. As a writer-filmmaker he creates and examines storytelling as an art, business and lifestyle. If you're in, or interested in the trade, sign up for his newsletter below. Learn how he went from small-town newspaperman to a feature film director here.

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