Groping for the golden fleece woven by My Big Fat Greek Wedding and the Cohen Brother’s recent redux of Homer’s Odyssey, Irish auteur and “chix with dicks” avatar Neil Jordan (think: the Crying Game) has also gone Greek. Teamed with producer Uberto “The Full Monty” Pasolioni, Jordan will direct The Return, about the homecoming of Odysseus to his island kingdom of Ithaca after the Trojan War. Disguised as a vagrant, Odysseus returns home having left for Troy some 20 years prior to find his “faithful” wife Penelope entertaining a raft of would-be widow-wooers. Suffering a bit of post-traumatic stress disorder (perfectly understandable given his tangles with Sirens, the six headed Scylla and the monster Charybdis), Odysseus drops his vagabond act and proceeds to slaughter Penelope’s boyfriends. The family pic is set to bow in 2004.